SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I cannot explain as in depth as I would like due to being on my phone rather than desktop sorry in advance. I absolutely agree with unhinged about listening to your instincts. A lot of people may put this down as coincidental or unrelated but here is a story of my journey that still bothers me.

About a year into our marriage I began having intense gut pains on the right lower side. I have been to 7 different doctors, ultrasounds, ct scans, and mri's. No one could find the cause of this but since DDay they have disappeared completely.

I brought this up to my therapist and GP, and it was my GP who brought the second mind to my attention. He explained it is called a gut instinct for a reason.

Whether or not my instincts, being ingnored, caused a physical anomaly or not is unsure. But not one pain after 14 years of daily pain is incredibly difficult to ignore.

Since the pain is gone right now it’s probably too late for evidence, but did any of your doctors run bloodwork while you were having issues and checked your cortisol and prolactin levels?
Stress increases both of those, particularly cortisol and it can wreck havoc on you.

All kids of bloodwork, three joyful colonoscopy, and three endoscopy. I'm not sure if cortisol levels were ever checked. I firmly believe my body was reacting to what I was ignoring, even if at a subconscious level

Gemmy,

I brought this up to my therapist and GP, and it was my GP who brought the second mind to my attention. He explained it is called a gut instinct for a reason.

I've read about this. There's a very dense cluster of nerves and neurons in your literal gut. It has its own nervous system. Often referred to as a "second brain." What you're talking about is actually quite fascinating to me. I think there might be some substance to what you're saying.

Now that I think of it, I think what I actually do is trust but verify.

Throughout my life, I've tended to verify longer than necessary, I think. Nowadays, though, I'm pretty quick to find what drove my instinctual response in any sitch and make a decent choice. Like, my TV is 5-6 years old, and it's plain old 4K. Do I get a new TV now? If so, which one? Answer? Gut says, 'Not yet.' Gut also says it'll be here before January 1, 2027.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:23 PM, Sunday, July 5th]

I do have a strong emotional intelligence that always kept me safe from many issues whenever I spotted red flags (later turned out rightfully so, bullets dodged, not just in love matters).

I suspect that is a innate skill, we all have since childhood, allowing us to read others even before we own words.

Thought I think it is exacerbated by trauma, intuition about "something off" was always right in my experience, my reaction sometimes was excessive as the red flags weren’t always as terrible in entity as I feared.

So after a while I tried to compensate against the gut feeling.

And when it came to betrayal red flags I got burned badly.

Obviously that trauma exacerbated an order of magnitude bigger than anything else.

So yes high alert / fear - overcompensate- get burned.

Oh and waywards seem to have a similar, mirror instinct how to play with this imbalance to gaslight and manipulate to benefit their deception (my 3 waywards at least did)

I had to find a balance as trust the intuition always, just don’t cope as before (overreact) respond with moderation.

Unafraid of outcome there is information without reaction, only response.

All kids of bloodwork, three joyful colonoscopy, and three endoscopy. I'm not sure if cortisol levels were ever checked. I firmly believe my body was reacting to what I was ignoring, even if at a subconscious level

Yes, the body does respond to ignored emotions, you start a war against your nerve system survival intelligence by shutting your ears to it. So when you refuse to respond,it’s your body that reacts… until you give it attention.

You don’t need to follow the emotions blindly, all they demand to you is for you to listen, not ignore.