SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Rough morning, so I’m going to list off the things I use to affirm my divorce decision.

When I am divorced, I won’t have to-

-listen as he inhales while he’s eating food, which creates a really weird throat choking slurping sound.

- nag him to groom his nose hair, which was actually pretty gross

- decide to have sex when I don’t want to, and try to relax myself into it not being painful

- I won’t feel guilt about not having sex with him anymore

- I won’t have to soothe another adult anymore about something his own lack of insight created

- my house will stay as clean or dirty as I left it, or at least my bedroom will.

- no more guilt. No mroe trying to teach an unteachable grown Adult

- no more parenting an adult.

- no more waiting to find out he had affairs with more people than I know (there were three but he also solicited men and said it never went anywhere. Yeah.

- be embarrassed when someone would notice he was holding his penis at all times, because it soothed him like a little boy, and I would try to distract him by holding his hand. Cringe.

Where the fuck was I?!?!?

Oh and now I can hire a housekeeper if I want. He would get angry whenever I talked about that. I make all the money, he was a stay at home dad and he took it as some horrible personal insult. As he did everything. Frankly I prolly won’t need to anymore.

[This message edited by 3yrsout at 4:18 PM, Saturday, September 27th]

I no longer tip-toe around an explosive man-child.
I can make weekend plans with friends and no one makes me feel guilty for it.
I no longer buy bananas and make sure we have plenty in the house even though they rarely got eaten.
I can wear perfume or hair spray without his whining about the scents even though he wore Old Spice and layered that on like a 15year old with Axe body spray.
I can do whatever I need to be satisfied in the bedroom with out it hurting his feelings. (And now with anyone I want :-) )
I no longer hear him slurping soup or cereal because he said that is the "proper way" to eat those foods. (His mother was a cotillion-going-southern-girl and had impeccable manners. No idea where he got this from.)

It gets better 3yrsout. There are things I do miss about being married and in a partnership. But when you see what healthy looks like, you will start to see that you can do better than what you have as an M right now.

Keep your list going.

I can listen to the morning news headlines on my phone while I get ready in the morning, without waking him up.

I can do the gardening and take care of the yard without being told I’m doing it wrong instead of being thanked.

I can read in bed or relax on the couch without being mocked for "never doing anything."

I can spend money on myself without being made to feel guilty (100% of the income was from my job).

I can see friends and make plans and enjoy the people in my life, and I know they value their relationship with me.

You will find your new routine and come to love it!

A common theme I saw in you first three posters is the way your WHs repeatedly chose to belittle your talents and contributions to the M!

Makes me wonder why some men do that so consistently, like MY SAWH. Insecurity and immaturity? Tear somebody else down to make themselves feel superior? Misogyny? Just an observation....certainly these losers don't sound to me like the many BHs who post here, do they....