Weekend away

My wife had an affair 25 years ago , despite my red lines,remained in contact sporadically in next couple of years (even met him "platonically" with our baby daughter in park 2 years later to "talk things over" although from what Iater read he had different intentions and then after he moved abroad , as we did to a different country ) . She contacted him 10 years later which I discovered , hit me like a brick , that’s when i read about the post A contact and also a weekend away they spent away together she told me was for work at the time . It’s been a hard journey since but we are still together and had another child 20 years ago . I coped terribly at the original time post A worse after the ten year contact . The last 8 years things are much better .

Recently my wife suggested a weekend away at a renowned beautiful part of the country she had read about , some 150 miles away . It turns out this spot is just a couple of miles ( we’d have to drive through it )from the village where they went away for their "romantic" weekend . I believe she has not realised this yet. When I did, the bad memories came flooding back and I am deciding if and how I tell her now , make excuses to go somewhere else , or even go , and see if she realises and act as a test to see if I can put to bed memory of their weekend away . I’ve no one to talk to about these feelings and lord knows I’ve dragged up the details of the A with her many times before as by her actions it never left me for years but i do not think the reaction will be good and positioned as a "there you go again wanting to make me feel bad " she is a completely different person now . I am siding with the option of making excuse to go elsewhere and forget what I know about her suggestion by myself , but any advice / support welcome

Thank you for taking the time etc

J

2 comments posted: Wednesday, June 18th, 2025