Depression? Guilt that I’m not the mom my kids deserve
It’s been a month since finding out. It’s not getting any easier. Husband is doing/saying all the right things. There’s nothing I can honestly say that there’s nothing he can be doing more or less of. However, I feel like I’m floating in a big dark cloud. I feel so numb, so hurt, so blah. I’m not the mother my children deserve. I am so mentally and emotionally absent. I don’t yell or lose my patience but I am the furthest thing from happy and fun. I show up, I still do it all but I feel like a robot. It doesn’t help that I found out I herniated a disc from working out and there’s a fragment sitting on my sciatic nerve. I am in pain 24/7. I am proactive and on the waiting list for surgery. My kids are 3 and 7. Someone please tell me I will feel human again. I take good care of my self as far as hygiene, food, and exercise but on the inside I am an empty shell of a person. 💔
3 comments posted: Friday, September 26th, 2025
2 weeks since I found out. I have little kids. I am gutted
I found out 2 weeks ago my husband of 8 years had sex with another woman 4 times in hotel rooms. Unprotected. I guess you could say it was a coworker but it’s not someone he actually works with. Long story. Doesn’t matter. She’s no longer in the picture. It was just sex. She’s married with children also. He’s saying and doing all the right things. I believe this can work but I don’t know. It seems so unfair. This wasn’t a tragedy to work through. This didn’t happen to us. He did this to me - and I’m left with these heart breaking soul crushing feelings. I have a 3 year old and 7 year old. I’m in the thick of parenting. He works LONG hours. I feel so alone. I feel so broken. I feel so hurt. Today is the hardest day thus far since I found out. Sorry for TMI but upcoming menstrual cycle is definitely playing a part in my emotions today. I feel so resentful and hurt. I’m having difficulty not constantly thinking about it. I am so shocked. I did not see this coming and I never thought he would do this. I feel like my life is forever changed for the worse by the person I love and trusted so much. I am gutted.
17 comments posted: Saturday, September 13th, 2025
