Apparent Emotional Affair
I found out my wife was having an emotional affair (she calls it a flirtation) with a police officer who she met on the school run. I travel a lot and live and work in two countries. It gives her a lot of freedom to do what she wants. She has been vague about the affair and has been caught in lies a few times. As it was at the school it was important for me that he knew I found out. I felt it was for him to look out for me and avoid me rather than the other way around as in my mind it would trigger me every time I went to the school. I didn’t want to think about this guy at all!My wife did not want me to confront him and I got that because of the risk of things blowing up and her being embarrassed in front of other parents etc. I therefore asked her to hand him a note telling him I knew and to keep away from me (she said she never had his number). She said from the beginning she never knew where he lived, his surname, almost nothing. It turned out she did and that she had a work friend who knew him. She got her friend to ask him for permission to give him the note and its contents. I found out this happened. I find it childish and manipulating and to be honest worse than the affair. She was either protecting him or herself from any fallout. I feel betrayed twice but not sure if I’m overthinking this!
8 comments posted: Wednesday, September 24th, 2025
