SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

You are stronger than you think. Take a deep breath and focus on yourself. You can’t stay like this forever. Start making small changes — go shopping with friends, hit the gym, go hiking, or do anything that brings you happiness.

Thank you - all of you. It has been 6 very long months since I filed for divorce (no minor children - they are all grown and wonderful). We had a mediation earlier this month and reached a settlement. There is nothing really left for either of us to do, but sign the papers after our attorneys put them together for the judge to review and sign. 21 days or less til it is final. Our marital home is up for sale, and I have my pre-approval for a new mortgage. The IHS is very close to being over. My new life in front of me. I have concerns about my financial situation as my STBEX came to mediation with empty bank accounts, and we live in a 50/50 divorce arena. So, he got 50% of what I have - and, I got 50% of nothing (he gambled away every dollar he had). We will split the proceeds of our house. I get to keep my inheritance money. My days are filled with cleaning up our house and packing my things, while he lays around watching gambling videos on the TV. He has tried to engage me in random conversation, which I dismiss and go about my business. Just yesterday I was in tears while I looked at the homes that I can afford now for my new single life. Then I was up most of the night unable to sleep. But, I must remain optimistic that I will continue to make the right choices. I keep telling myself that I have one chance to get this right. Then, focus on my mission. And, always remembering that He is with me. He has always been with me. My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is with us. All of us. I am so thankful that I found this site and you. Thank you.

So there's light at the end of the tunnel for you. When you have your own place and you don't have to worry about STBXWH, you'll begin to feel so much peace. I'm sorry that he took so much from you but looking forward to hearing about your new place and your new life.

Great to hear about your progress.

" I keep telling myself that I have one chance to get this right."

You’ll have lots of chances to get this right. There will be stumbles along the way. Don’t let them get you down.

Best wishes.

You are in the home stretch- congratulations!

You’ll have lots of chances to get this right. There will be stumbles along the way. Don’t let them get you down

I second this as we get lot's of chances in life to make changes for ourselves. Sometimes there are roadblocks and obstacles but we find a way. You will do great! Congratulations on a wonderful new start ahead :)

Hello, I have been mostly lurking on the forum since Dday(s). I too am in an IHS situation. There are many parallels in our lives. I wanted to say, I hope you are in your new home, your new life, your new happiness. Thank you for posting your journey, it has given me strength for mine.

Dear Icangetpastthis,

I am incredibly moved by your story. I am sorry this injustice happened to you after almost 50 years of marriage.

I am a believer too, and I often wonder how in the world I could have been betrayed by my WS for 30 years and I pushed down the intuition for years until I turned 50 and somehow had the gumption to hold his feet to the fire, because of years of what my body knew and I wasn't backing down.

He dropped DD1 on me at 27 years of marriage, he did "the work" (fake) and let me heal and begin to trust again and then he dropped DD2 on me 5 months later. Now I will never ever doubt my intuition again. I kept asking him if there were more women or men ( Ive suspected this too) He wrapped his arms around me as I was sobbing, and said no I promise there is no more to tell. Im sick that I begged him to tell me the truth, my intuition was right. It's discussing to me that any human can treat anyone with this cruelty. Wrapping an "I love you" with lies is cruel.

Ive had to learn how to listen and learn the difference between fear and intuition. He basically ruined his chance to save the marriage because without trust there is no relationship.

I wrestle with God because I prayed, since I was a teenager, for a faithful man to marry one day. I saved myself for marriage, I took my covenant seriously..he didn't.

5 years ago, I felt a shift, when we sent our youngest off to college, and I began to mature emotionally, I could see he wasn't coming along for the ride. I wanted to shift into our empty nest chapter, but he was extremely distant and all the signs were there of the infidelity.... dating apps, massage parlors, prostitutes, you name it.

I finally received the answers to the truth just a few days ago, and now I can make an informed decision to end the relationship. I can't say I'm not afraid. I'm afraid of where I'm going to work and live. (right now we run a business together)

We've been married 33 years. I've emotionally detached, relationally detached and ready to end it.

In 10 days he is moving out and I have such a peace and relief about it. Before, I was so scared to live alone and be divorced or even separated because I was afraid he'd cheat again. Geez. Now I couldn't care less, and am moving forward.

Thank you for sharing your story here, It helps to hear someone else is facing this after decades of marriage.